Neglect? In the eye of the beholder?

Neglect....such an ugly word. This weekend, I have been reminded of all that is wrong in the world with CPS, DCS or whatever your neck of the woods calls it.

Friday night, my husband received text after text from my oldest stepson, begging him to pick him up from Walmart, of all places. It is almost 10pm and they are at Walmart??? She picked them up at 5:30pm and went directly to some stupid play her nephew was in and then spent time with her sister and sister's family. So going home, at 10pm, she decided it was time to go Walmart'ing.

As he is texting, apparently his mother is yanking my youngest stepson, who is ADHD, around by his arm, cursing him through her clenched teeth. We are getting play by play from my twelve year old stepson, who is begging my husband with each text to come save him from this wicked woman he calls Mommy.

They finally get home around 11pm and my husband tells my stepson to go to bed and the morning will be better. You can hear the pleas in the texts for my husband to step in, but we know, truthfully, it will only infuriate her more so all he can do is listen and encourage my stepson to find a way to self-soothe through this pain.

Stepson calls husband, whispering into the phone. He is not allowed to take a shower tonight. His mother said no. He is nasty, sweaty from baseball practice hours ago and she says it is too late for a shower. My husband tells him to listen to his mother and go to bed.

In my head, my reasonable, mothering side is saying, "How is that not neglect????" Bathing is a necessity, right? Not unless it is a pattern over a period of months is it neglect.

How can grabbing a child by the arm and leaving marks not be neglect or abuse???? Unless it is a pattern over a period of time...even then, worse case scenario, she will get "censured" by the agency. And be allowed to "right her wrongs".....

How is it okay to keep a child out until 11pm, even if it is Friday???? I know, I know...pattern over time....

The kids....well, they are resilient...which is true. My head tells me that they will survive this woman. My heart keeps seeing the text, "Dad...plz come git me...i hate her cuz she is mean to me...why do u make me come here cuz she dosnt want us here" over and over and wishing she would fall into a hole somewhere....