Does sex equal love? Why can't we separate it?

We can all play victim. We start as children when we learn to cry on demand to get older sister in trouble. We use those tears for sympathy from boys and then later men. I mean, the whole damsel in distress...most of us have played it at some point.

But, in my road to adulthood, I have learned that when you put two women in a situation and ask them to share, you might as well throw on the gasoline and light a match. Especially if they share a man in common as a either a current or former intimate partner.

Women equate sex and love. Women cannot stand their husband/boyfriend's former lovers. Even if they never met them, they hate them. And they will believe, to the core of their being, that that former lover wants their partner back.

Men, they can be friends and have a common former/current partner in common and it is no big deal. They just don't get that emotional attachment with sex.

I believe this is a huge part of the core of the problems between a mom (who is the ex-wife) and a stepmom (who is the new wife). I know, while my kids soon to be stepmom, knows and sees me happy with my husband, there are times when I see this look that goes before her face and I know what she is thinking. "That tramp slept with my fiance and wants him back." I know because I feel it to at times when I see my husband's ex-wife. I think that accepting those feelings has allowed me to conquer them and beat it. When I feel it, I look at my husband and see that look he has only for me and I focus on that.

As women, we are our own worst enemy because we cannot keep our focus on ourselves. We are always comparing ourselves to other women in what we wear, our hair, our makeup and all other aspects. We are catty about each other's weight and we tear each other down in horrible ways. And those are the women we don't really know or have any attachment to! We tear ourselves down doing.

I think, as a stepmom, I have to focus on what I have, not what she had. And as an ex-wife, I feel like I am walking on eggshells to make sure my ex-husband's fiancee doesn't think I want him....because I don't!!!!

Maybe one day, we can slap each other on the rear-end and have a bear like men :)